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One of my favorite movies is Somewhere in Time, the music captured me from the openning credits and I knew this movie would be an emotional roller coaster ride. If you have seen it, then you know it for yourself. It has been hailed as one of the best romance movies and typically will be shown around Valentine's Day. I have heard sentiments such as they really loved each other so much that each sacrificed their lives for the other. Hmmmmmmmmmm. Well, I ordered it a few weeks ago because I like this movie, and after I watched it, I re-thought my position. Does honest love ask one to sacrifice their life to re-unite? Somehow this notion that time transcendence seemed to weave a magical spell on those of us who are hopeless romantics. However, when examined, is this really love? Love is kind, unselfish, thinks of the other above themselves, but never sacrifices their own integrity, goals or life. If a couple is meant to be together, it would seem that circumstances would allow them to flow in the same direction, or wait for a time that it does. How many want to force the square peg into the round hole and call it "for love," is that really love or selfish desire? Well, I went searching for a good description of love and the best I could find was in the Book of First Corinthians Chapter 13: "Love is patient, kind, it is not envious, boastful, arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way, it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice in wrongdoing but in the truth, Love never ends." In essence, love holds the other party up and wants them to reach their potential, wants great things to happen to them. Yes, love is hard, it is difficult, when you love someone there does seem to be a spiritual magic in it, because you become a better person, the focus is off oneself and onto their needs, but never to the exclusion of our own. These are some of my thoughts, I would be interested in yours? ...

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When one thinks of the phrase coming out, gender orientation probably immediately leaps to mind, which may be a myopic approach. What if "Coming Out" was examined using a prismatic approach and each face could be another facet with a different meaning. For example, coming out to oneself could be defined a being authentic, and coming to terms with the self that is being hidden or left unattended, or who has settled because of the circumstances at the time of the decision. Sometimes that decision could feel like it was the only one. Then, years later, the realization hits that, " I feel depressed, or stuck, but generally not in the place I should be, but I don't know what to do." What a precarious position, knowing that a change is needed in ________ but some pesky emotion blocks the perceived ability to enact a change. What is a person to do?" One solution, as in one face of the prism, is to look inside and acknowledge the part that is "not really a part of me." What I am doing that feels alien to me? For some people it might be lifestyle or marital concessions. For others it might be monogamy, or having an open marriage, or the decision involving children. For others, it might be decisions regarding furthering of education, or who stays at home and who works. One of the significant issues of our day seems to be can one make a long term commitment, well, define long term? So many questions and no definite answers because they are inside of each person and until one can muster the courage to face them, one usually stays in some shade of miserable. These are some of my thoughts, and I am interested in yours, so feel free to respond. ...

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Have you interacted with many people lately or just observed behavior? It seemed to me that people seemed loved starved for real, genuine care and concern. Yet, being kind to someone can generate a plethera of unwanted responses. Granted it is a question of balance, but sometimes the scales seem skewed? I used to think that the line was fairly obvious but now that assessment appears to be an oversimplification. What do you think? How clear is the line for you? ...

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What have you been up to? Thoughts to ponder: The importance of continued education be it required or just for fun.

I decided that I was not only academically-minded but probably an educational junkie. I have been listening to college level lectures from "The Great Courses" and realized that when I finished the first series, there was a depth of loss while riding in my car. The radio itself generated no interest, because I was bored with it. So I purchased several more series and WOW what a difference. None of these has any direct bearing to psychology but they are still fascinating. So I began to think about other people and their listening habilts. Well, no one was interested in my CD series so I just decided to spend more riding time in my car, which was not objectionable. This lead me to wonder how many people are re-directing valuable time in non-learning pursuits? Imagine if one's car radio became a serious vehicle for gaining a vast array of knowledge over a specified amount of time? Have you ever wanted to explore periods of history, myths, or other topics. The value of the car lies in the ability to maintain focus on one's driving while listening to seasoned teachers. Granted, one would have to choose topics that did not require visual data of any kind for obvious reasons. However, using one's car for personal growth, might be something to consider?
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Actually, I have been celebrating since we have gained equality status by order of the Supreme Court last Friday. Recently, I have been listening to a series by Bart Ehrman which has stimulated areas for future posts. He is a phenomenal instructor and lecturer of the biblical world and early Christianity. One of my favorites is Peter, Paul and Mary Magdalen, and Truth and Fiction in the DiVinci Code. He has a sense of humor and a profound knowledge of the subject matter. More on this later, but I do recommend his books if you have a thirst for knowledge and enjoy tickling your grey matter. ...

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